You might be married to an endurance athlete, if...
Your house is really just a storage unit for shoes...
and water bottles, and hydration packs. We've given up on matching socks, so we now have a basket that we throw them all in and hope we can find a matching pair when we need them. And I've given up on the shoe issue... not sure what the point of a shoe rack is if SOMEONE doesn't even put his on it... but then again I don't take mine off so I guess we're even :)
Speaking of shoes...who needs a unity candle when you can have unity running shoes?
Your kitchen operates more like a mass food service operation.
You hear the words "I'm hungry" on repeat every night and grocery shop in a manner that you're ready to mass produce food at a moments notice. I have mastered the art of "batch" cooking, but there's only one problem: he still eats the ENTIRE BATCH. Which, speaking of disappearing food...
You have to hide anything you don't want to be eaten!
"Honey, where are the cookies I made? Did you take them ALL to work?"
Gels, meals, etc. NOTHING goes unscathed. If I want to ensure I have leftovers for a certain day, they get hidden in the fridge, or placed in the freezer, which seems to be a safe zone right now since microwaving is "too much work" this he never ventures into the freezer. Granted, I tend to eat half of his dinner as I'm making it, so perhaps that means we're even?
You barter in the form of workouts and energy gels.
"I'll run with you in the freezing cold if you swim with me on Friday" was our latest compromise. For Thanksgiving weekend it was: "I join you on your crazy long trail run if you actually put that bike of yours in the basement to use and join me for a ride." I'm convinced that mastering the art of bartering is the key to a happy marriage.... just sayin'
You "borrow" (steal) each others' gear
"What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours."
But seriously, can you please stop taking my favorite socks, camelback, Garmin, headlamp... GLOVES. My hands get really COLD so please don't take my gloves again...mmmm, thanks. And please don't forget that I need FUEL for my workouts too, thus the "do not eat" now written on the bag. *To be fair, I do steal his stuff too.
You deal with each others' grumpiness by kicking each other out the door to exercise...
"Hey grumpy-pants, I noticed you haven't run in a few days. Please go run and come back when you're in a happier place in life and THEN we can talk." And forget any type of real conversation while said endurance athlete is hangry... Now that's just asking for trouble!
Your laundry is 95% workout gear...
That is, when we find the time to do the laundry. And REAL people clothes? Yea, I guess we wear them occasionally :)
The question "do you want to go for a run?" inevitably involves running 10-miles or more...
"If we run into town and THEN join our friends for a run it's just a few miles further" (actually, it's 8 miles further...nice try)
Your schedule for the year is determined by races and the lottery gods.
This year we didn't quite communicate well and chose "A" races that were on the same weekend... oops! To think we actually entertained the thought of the hubby running his 100-miler then hopping on a plane to fly to my Ironman the next day (better run fast buddy) or just going our separate ways for the weekend with separate support crew. Luckily I signed up for mine first, so he is now looking for a new 100-miler to run this fall hehehe :)
Telling your friends "let's hang out" is really code for "let's go for a run!"
Don't worry, occasionally we do get together for other purposes... like refueling over good food :P
The announcement of "I'm going for a long run" (or ride) really means "I'll be gone all day."
I've stopped asking "when do you think you'll be home?" because that's a moot point. These days it's "I'll see ya when I see ya, please don't die, and perhaps call if you get a chance to check in."
A few weeks ago the hubby was gone for 12+ hours on his training run and, once dark arrived, I resounded to leaving a voicemail along the lines of "Hi darling. Just wondering if you're still alive. Should I call search and rescue or start cooking massive amounts of food?? Call me, thanks."
And then there was the statement a few weeks ago of "I ran 93 miles last week and I'm not even sore." --- UGGH, ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN? I can't even RIDE 93 miles without being sore. Just stop talking while you're ahead.
And you receive gifts like this for Valentine's Day:
Husband: "I bought you a gift!!!"
Me: "What IS THAT?"
Husband: "It's for plantar fasciitis"
Me: "But I didn't realize I had plantar fasciitis?"
Husband: "Oh no, it's for your ridiculously tight calves"
Nothing says romance like "I don't like touching your feet and you scream every time I touch your calves so use this instead." Then again, self-inflicted pain via this device is likely MUCH better option than the pain he is able to inflict with a deep tissue massage.
As I said, life with an endurance athlete is definitely unique, but a life that I knew I was marrying into and one that I love. To quote our vows:
"While you are without a doubt the craziest person I’ve ever met, you are my inspiration, my best friend, my HERO, and I will always be proud to have you as my husband."
You drive me crazy but I love you anyway. Happy Valentines Day!
Kristen Chang is Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN), Certified Specialist in Sports Dietetics (CSSD) and endurance athlete residing in southwest Virginia alongside her husband and dog. Through this blog she aims to share favorite fueling recipes, general wellness and sport nutrition tips and stories from her athletic endeavors.
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