No One Said It Would Be Easy

​To say things haven't been going my way lately is an understatement. Truthfully, the past 5-6 weeks have been a constant struggle to stay positive, stay on track with my goals and some days, not throw in the towel. Rough patches are inevitable, but I've managed to remain relatively optimistic through it all and think I've worked through the worst of it.

Anyways, this past week I finally started to see my energy levels bounce back and it's been a huge sigh of relief to feel more like my normal self again. The fall air definitely helps! On Monday, September 16th I finally had the opportunity to register for the Boston Marathon, cue major mood boost and excitement!! It's something I've been waiting many years to do, but even more so after FINALLY qualifying at last year's Richmond Marathon. The registration form was quick to fill out, so a bit anti-climatic, but I eagerly gave up my credit card info... I don't think I've ever been more excited to throw down the $175 it costs to register.
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Fast forward 10 days: that's how long it took to find out whether or not my application had been accepted. In summary, roughly 8,000 runners submitted an application for 5,000 remaining spots in the 2nd week of registration. All of us applicants where ranked based on how far under the qualification standard we were and the top 5,000 get in (here's the link for more info on their final press release). The process takes time, I get it, and it was a huge test of patience waiting to hear any sort of news. There was no instant gratification in this process! Finally, earlier this afternoon I opened up my email to this:

Words can't even begin to describe my disappointment.

I was so heartbreakingly close: 6 seconds in a marathon! The overall cut-off was 1:38 below the BQ standard and my time was 1:32 below BQ. Even more so, my dad and husband were both confirmed as entrants last week and it was my idea for us to all run it together. To be clear, it's been my dream since I was young and watched my dad first run at Boston to get up there and run with him. Thanks dad for the sweet words of encouragement:

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Sorry Kristen, 
So close but yet so far. I was pulling for you to get in this next year
​but whatever year that you do go, I will go with you. 
​Love, Dad

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There is no sense in wondering "what if?!" These things happen, and I've known since interest in the race peaked after last year's bombings that getting in would be a tough feat. My rejection sucks (a lot), but there will be future years and that doesn't change that I'm still super proud and excited for those who WILL be racing!

There are definite silver linings to not getting in. That doesn't mean this doesn't hurt, but I am stronger and more resilient than I know and my spirit will rebound. In the past year I've learned a lot about myself, how I handle adversity and areas where I need to grow. I've learned that joy, optimism and happiness are all choices we make and don't have to be dictated by circumstances or achievements. Real commitment is judged by how we work through the rougher moments and while this may be a detour for me, it's not the end of the road. I'm continually reminding myself that God's plans are bigger than my own and I do truly believe everything happens for a reason. I will tell you on any day, good or bad, I am very blessed.

I do have other goals and inevitably priorities for the 2014 may change a bit. I'm certain there will be more marathons in my future and hopefully I'll be standing at the starting line of Boston sooner rather than later. For now, there's little time to pout, I have another big goal coming up quick (5 weeks!) and I need to be focusing my energy on the final stages of prep!

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18